Life Less Ordinary
by diamondpearl876
Summary: Everything seems like a dream, so perfect and impossible to break, but it's all so very real for them. .kuroganexfai.


Written for 30_reflections. Prompt: Eyes staring back at me.

I own nothing. And hopefully this makes sense...?

Life Less Ordinary

When they're alone, they can say anything they want to one another. Whenever these moments come, everything seems like a dream, so perfect and impossible to break, but it's all so very real for them.

There are never any questions. There are never any strange looks, and there are never any insults as responses.

There is nothing but faint smiles, understanding, and acceptance.

- x -

"I sometimes wonder if anyone has honestly shed a single tear for me," Fai says quietly. His head rests on Kurogane's chest, and he can feel his heart beat.

Up and down.

His heart doesn't race and it doesn't stop at the statement. Instead, it's as normal as ever and he reaches for his sword nearby, and brings it to his wrists.

Up and down.

Kurogane doesn't wince and he doesn't think twice about his actions. Blood forms and trickles down his arms and stains his clothes, becoming an ever-lasting reminder.

Up and down.

He hastily brings his wrists to Fai's mouth, and simply says, "These are my tears for you."

Fai can only accept the ninja's offer gratefully.

- x -

"I once believed that I would break everything I touched after everything I knew was destroyed," Kurogane says softly. Fai sits next to him and watches him as he stares at his shaking hands blankly.

The mage reaches for Kurogane's hand, and he's not afraid of the ninja asking him what the hell he's doing. He's not afraid of Kurogane pushing him away and telling him to leave him alone.

As expected, he doesn't resist.

He stops shaking the second their hands come in contact with each other. Fai pauses for a moment, knowing Kurogane needs a moment, just another second to calm down...

As expected, he doesn't pull away from his touch.

Fai grins and moves his hands so that his interlocks with Kurogane's, and he squeezes it tightly. His hands are cold and dry, cracking and bleeding at the knuckles and Kurogane doesn't seem to care, because he's had worse wounds before.

As expected, he doesn't hold his hand tighter and it's quite all right.

"I was broken before, and we still came in contact with each other. Maybe you think I'm still broken."

"No. Not anymore," Kurogane replies, and they allow silence to ensue once more. There's nothing more to be said.

- x -

"It sickens me when I think of how many people in this world have completely wasted their lives," Kurogane says harshly. He stares out the window and sees children playing and adults talking and laughing with one another.

Fai knows that he didn't care about his life before.

He begins to try and look out the window to see what Kurogane does, but he decides to just look at the ninja instead with the only good eye he has. He doesn't need to see what's past the window, anyway, because he knows.

Fai knows what it's like to not care about anything or anyone.

The mage goes to tap Kurogane on the shoulder, to direct his attention away from what's on the outside. Why should he focus on what's out there, anyway, when he's got so much in his own life?

Fai knows what it's like to try to distract, but he truly thinks this is for the best.

"I'll just close the blinds so you're not tempted to look again." He doesn't even wait for Kurogane's reaction before he's standing and heading toward the window.

Kurogane nods slightly, and Fai merely smiles. They're not wasting time in here, they know, as they're sharing the secrets of their lives and creating memories in a way that only the two of them know how.

When Fai blocks the view to the outside, he doesn't take a single glance toward the people who have false laughter ringing through their ears.

- x -

"Sometimes, I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run," Fai claims gently. He looks to the ground, because if he even takes a quick glance in any other direction, he's afraid he might feel the desire to leave and follow those paths, wherever they may lead him.

Kurogane looks down to the earth as well, frowning. He knows that, to Fai, it would be better if the ground just reached up and brought him under, with no intentions on releasing him.

He's determined to keep the mage right by his side.

The ninja turns to face his companion, and brings his hand to Fai's face and forces him to look him in the eyes. He knows he's not looking past him at the trees or the dark sky or the clouds or the sun.

He's determined to keep the mage looking at the seriousness in his eyes, and nothing else.

Kurogane suggests that they stop for the night, and get some rest. It's what he thinks Fai needs right now. He thinks the mage needs some time to relax and think things through, and decide what he really wants instead of having jumbled thoughts and wondering if any threat is going to appear if he takes another step.

He's determined to keep the mage from making any rash decisions.

"Oh no you don't," Kurogane says as he sees Fai walking away a bit to find a place to rest.

"We're stopping here. Don't worry."

"That's not what I meant. You're sleeping right by me this time."

Kurogane holds onto Fai tightly that night, and he sleeps more soundly than he ever has before in his entire lifetime, because he knows Fai will still be there when he wakes in the morning.


End file.
